The Quare One

from by B.M.R.P.

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Well I got a missus and she's big and fat
And she's always grinning like a Cheshire cat
She weighs nineteen stone but I'm a bag of bones
She's the bane of me life the oul' quare one
A diabolical site the oul' quare one

Down the Galtymore every saturday night
To the Ceili hall goes me and the wife
She drags me out on the floor til me feet get sore
And I'm fair knackered out by the quare one
She's a powerful craicher the quare one

Nows in our house there's three of us
Your woman and I and a cat named Gus
She thinks more of him than she does of me
She loves her oul' pussy the quare one
She's cat altogether the quare one

Just the other night I was having me fill
Of a plate of stew that'd make you ill
When I says to her this'd slay the cat
She stuck it in me face the oul' quare one
You've got to watch your mouth with the quare one

Just the other night I caught a terrible view
When she bent herself over to lace up her shoes
Well you never would believe the sight that I saw
And it scared the cat silly that he ran through the door
Such a sight for the eyes the oul' quare one

Last thing at night it's such a terrible sight
When she takes off her wellies and she tears off her tights
And she takes off her corset and her brassieres too
And she looks like something you'd find at the zoo
Such a sight for the eyes the oul' quare one

When in bed at night I starts to dream
A fantasising of some beauty queen
The oul' missus turns her head
And she'll see me grin
Then she'll rap me o'er the brains
With a rolling pin

Repeat first verse and end

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from The Thatcher Song, released January 25, 2013



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